The 2 Biggest Misconceptions About Building Habits

hey there, improvement pill here welcome to lesson three of the tamed course if you have not watched the previous lessons
pause this video right now and click on the link in the description below
because remember in order for you to get the most out of this course in order for
you to really learn how to change your habits and change your life you’re gonna
have to watch each and every single one of the videos in today’s video we’re
going to debunk two of the biggest misconceptions people have about
building habits and the first is in regards to how long it takes to actually
form or break a habit you’ve probably heard at one point or another oh it
takes 21 days and it’s simply just not true this misconception actually stems
from a guy named Maxwell Maltz Maltz was a plastic surgeon back in the 60s and he
noticed that when he worked with people who got a new nose or add some sort of
facial reconstruction these people would feel uncomfortable when looking in the
mirror and multi found that it took them about 21 days to get used to what they
were seeing before they were more comfortable with the new faces and
what’s funny is that he took this simple observation with little to no science
backing it up and he stated that it takes 21 days to form or break a habit
in his book psycho-cybernetics which was a self-help book that went on
to becoming a best-seller and eventually sold millions of copies and over time
people just assumed that this 21 days to build a habit thing was true so how long
does it really take to form or break a habit well the recent study conducted at
the College of London by Professor Philippa Whaley found that it really
depends they looked at a group of people and tracked how long it took for them to
reach a point of maximum automaticity for a variety of different habits now
for those of you that don’t know what automaticity is it’s basically how
little thought you need to put into a task for example if I told you to tie
your shoe you wouldn’t have to think about it very hard chances are you’ve
tied your shoes enough times that it’s already reached a point of maximum
automaticity a routine is considered to be a fully embedded habit when it
reaches the highest point of automaticity and here’s a graph from the
study that depicts tis the study found that every single routine out there has
what’s called the automaticity line a point where if you’ve repeated the
routine enough times it becomes as automatic as it’s going to get at this
point your routine is now a habit and this study found that it can take
anywhere from two weeks to nine months with an average of 66 days
to reach this line and it all depends on how complicated and hard the routine is
for example the routine of taking her supplements in the morning might only
take three weeks before it reaches the line of automaticity before it becomes a
fully embedded habit that you don’t even have to think about on the other hand a
routine of going to the gym and working out might take six months before it hits
this line so for all of you out there who think oh I only need to stick to
this routine for 21 days or oh I just need to complete a 90 day challenge
you’re gravely mistaken you have to understand that it’s going to be a long
long journey a journey that could potentially take almost a year to
complete depending on what sort of habits you’re trying to build now this
might seem scary for a lot of you how am I gonna stick to these habits without
missing a day for an entire year and this brings us the common misconception
number two which is that if you relapse if you give in and smoke a cigarette or
have a drink or you miss a day of meditation that it’s all over a lot of
us have what I like to call the all-or-nothing mindset we think Oh once
the streak is broken all of my hard work is gone and because it’s gone I should
just relapse over and over again right I might as well enjoy myself and this is
far from the truth a significant number of people in the same study missed a day
or two when building their assigned new habits maybe they were too tired or
maybe they just forgot the researchers took this opportunity to look at its
effects on the automaticity line and to their surprise they found that missing a
single day does not have a clear effect on your progress the amount of progress
loss was almost non-existent however they found that if you continue to
relapse if you continue to miss days of going to the gym or doing your daily
meditation then you started losing a lot of progress and the amount of progress
loss was exponential so missing two days was significantly worse than missing
just one day and missing a week was way worse than missing two days so what does
this mean for us this means that we need a shift our mindset we shouldn’t focus
on a numerical streak we should not count the amount of days
it’s been since our last relapse the mindset that we should have is that
we’re gonna try our best to stick to this habit for as many months as it
takes until it reaches this line of automaticity because chances are you’re
going to laughs at one point or another in fact
studies have shown that 90% of all people trying to overcome their
addictions or build new habits relapse at least once throughout their journey
what’s important is that you force yourself to go back to building your
good habits the following day you must resist the urges to binge because that’s
when you actually start losing progress as long as you can do this you will
eventually reach the automaticity line you may have postponed it by a day or
two but as long as you get back up and try again don’t worry about the streak
you will eventually reach that line and once you hit that line it becomes
automatic so now that you know how habits work and you also know how long
it really takes to form a habit now it’s time for us to select a habit together
there’s dozens of good habits out there that are all beneficial so we’re gonna
cover a bunch of them and then we’re gonna pick one and focus on that one for
the rest of the course because remember our strategy is to adopt good new habits
so that they can eventually replace your current addiction the same course was
brought to you for absolutely free with the help of the patrons of this channel
if you want to support the cause and help me create more videos like this
please visit my patreon page right here or in the description box below to find
out about the perks and benefits that all my patrons receive stay tuned
Thank you so much improvement pill!
Thank you for clearing this up Improvement Pill, I was mistaken in both the misconceptions. I'm particularly enjoying your "Tamed" course. Thank you for your hard work.
Just Phenomenal, just phenomenal
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
this course is PURE GOLD
Thanks for making this course free for all of us 🙂 I've learned so much from the last few weeks from this series and similar channels
Yes! Awesome thank you improvement pill.
i'm soooo inspired by this guy ,thanks for all the help he's giveing us
As usual, this has been very helpful. Thank you for putting this together and for all your work.
I’m 15 on day 11, a lot of credit to this channel.
Been going to the gym for two years and still feels dreadful every single morning to drag myself outside the calm house
Just want to leave a comment to support your tamed course
" i found out that if i miss one day, i'll miss everyday. ". – Tyler
Damn I broke my nofap streak after 8 months. I needed 1 more month 😀
Psycho cybernetics is still an amazing book
I wish i can quit my bad habit which’s faping , I’m taking omega 3 pills and workout almost everyday ( get that Dopamine ⚡️ )
And actually I’ve quit nofap for 22 days , it felt so amazing and beautiful but unfortunately i slept with a girl and when i came back to my home alone i start faping again and again.
It’s really been so long I’m trying to quit this but i just can’t it’s all over my nerves and my brain, i relapsed couple thousand times and still …
It’s the worst thing ever happened to me and i wish i just get rid of this FOREVER! Thats why I’m here watching I.P videos and I’m sure I’ll learn something from it 👍
Wow…. you Are Great
Hello, successful people! Is there anyone who overcome VIDEO GAMES addiction? I am not sure if I am truly addicted. My routine now is: spend a week without games on university, but when I return home on weekends I end up playing all day long even though I have plenty of things to do (learn, read, work out, art projects I'd like to start). Now it is 3am and I haven't done any of these things (shocking fact, i call them my hobbies and still I can't manage to do them)… The worst part is now I am feeling really bad and unhappy with myself a day wasted. This process and this feeling repeats over and over. Even though I feel horrible at the end of the day spend playing on pc, even though I realize it… I did it again. I would appreciate any help! please
Great! I was always told that to create a habit I must do it for 21 days in a roll. I'm brazilian , so I'm following your course because at some point of my life I had to learn english and create the habit to do so. My english teacher was kind of different from the others. He told me that creating the habit of studying english/languages takes 66 days. Does it make sense?
Tomorrow is gonna be one week without fapping/porn 😊 Wish me luck as I continue on this journey to break this habit👍
I've also heard Dr Peterson say it takes about 66 days
How to deal with failure?
I really respect how you’re helping people
My Mom ties my shooes for me 🙁 and I am 26) I Think I Need help
I'll recommend Brian Johnson's video titled "Habits 101: how to create habits that can change your life". Whole video is great, but Number 8 and 9 on the list of Brian's video are highly relevant to this video here. Do not miss a day for whatever habit you're building, and definitely do not miss more than two days! It becomes harder to get back into the routine and stay on task.
no fap is bad when u feel the urge for it like havinga sexual desire its gna be detrimental u'll implode dont do it everyday just make sure to relieve urself when u feel the urge for it.
Hey improvement pill, Please make a course or training program for 6/12 months Because I ve been to some motivational classes but you speak the truth , this is what people need not that bullshiz
It's been about 4-5 weeks since I've masturbated to porn, right now I'm at the stage where my brain is telling me "you know, you're no longer addicted, the cravings aren't there anymore, so if you wanna do it just one time it should be ok"
I'm creating the habit to read 20 minutes a day and meditate, but sometimes I come from work so late (at night) or I work nightshift, and when I come home so tired that it wouldn't even be lucrative for me, because I wouldn't learn anything from what I read and I couldn't stay focused during meditation. But I always come back to these habits.
Give me some time brother . I am gonna be your biggest patron because i can't thank you enough for your amazing content all this time .
Can I select 3or 4 habits in the same time
I would like to see calendar habits. Keeping a calendar and how to stick with what's on it.
you just saved my life
Hey Improvement Pill,
I absolutely love your work. Since you are giving us so much value for free, I would like to repay the favor and suggest a video for you to make.
Your videos tell us to stop doing things that give us short term pleasure and focus on long term pleasure habits. But I think that in order to avoid burning out, you need some balance.
So you could make a video about balancing hard work and useful habits (like meditation, reading, noFap etc..) , with relaxing and giving time to yourself.
Very Helpful video… Really appreciate it!!
This is so true and glad that it's been said! So sad watching people give up on starting a new habit after a month!
University College London NOT college of London – kind of like calling Cambridge University the college of Cambridge. Sorry but this needs to be redone, it’s a major fail. UCL is a leading world university not a college.
Correction, people didn’t assume it takes 21 days. They were misinformed.
Thank you so much for this course!
SUPER COOL. REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
Just a correction in spelling. When you mention its, do note in the video that it's written as it's (it is). eg. minute 2.02 mark. Apart from that, Thank you for the video. Learning much on it.
I feel like it shouldn't be like a streak you try to hold for as long as possible, it should be a mindset of yours saying that you dont want to do something again, and it will get easier with time. You shouldn't search for an destination
Man i love your channel give me a few weeks and I will become a patreon of yours !!
When i wanted to quit, I feel that "whats the use of quitting now when i have already passed 10 years on this addiction and my age has crossed 20 already and i lost my teenage in that addiction….:(
Can i really quit.?
BTW ur video is soo helpful thankyou so much for spending ur priceless time for us
You should put a 3 at the end of the title so we know it's #3
thnx alot man
Really helpful video. Thank you very much.
This one explains my question from last video, maybe i just have very long times to build habbits, but since i started learning, training and pursuing spiritual stuff since i could think
Thank you so much. I can relate to what you just said, i too had this common placebo that lead placebo effect of failure.
thank you a😄😄
I'm not sure if this would be helpful for anyone but when quitting smoking cigarettes, if I were to "relapse" like a few weeks later or a month, I bought the most disgusting cigarettes like the opposite of what I like (I like Marlboro menthol so I bought pall malls regular) and I would say this is the only type of cigarettes you're allowed to have if you relapse… and I would smoke one and I would be like ugh this is so disgusting and not pleasurable at all. I bought them like 6 months ago and there is still a half pack in my purse that I'm most likely never going to smoke but I keep them there kinda for safety so I don't end up buying a pack that I like
Hello ,
Thank you again for this amazing course.
I would want to ask you 2 questions about this:
-How about breaking an habit? Not doing it 1 , 2 and one week will make our chance of breaking it higher or is breaking habits different from building habits? (i am askign this because trying to break Fap i always go back even after 20 days or more.
-When you say 1 times is it counted as a day or the total number of times done even in a given day?
Thank you 🙂
I think having a day-counting gives you feedback that helps to keep you motivated. At least it works well for me. Also, I guess some of you know Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's Flow Theory, it says that when an activity is between 'very hard' and 'very easy' you get a Flow state in which things can be easily done, so that might help you visualize how would it take for you to build an habit. Great video!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!
life changing
Yeap this is amazing 21 days to changing a habit can be detrimental for someone who is a perfectionist it will bring a huge amount of stress when they realize that it takes longer 21 days is just the beginning to getting started.
Thank you so much for this.
thanks man
An android app called "Loop Habit" is excellent for helping with automaticity. Check it out, it's been really helpful for me.
The science and statistics behind it all, really made me think. It also made me more confident in how I plan to change and messing up here and there is ok <3
How do we know we have reached the automaticity
Relapsing is way worse if you are talking about physical addiction. For example sigaretes, it takes about 3 days for nicotine to leave your system and if you relapse soon after that you will have much harder time quitting smoking.
This is the first time I ever watched something that makes sense and isn't just a load of physco babble ….definitely keep watching . Thanks
Hello guys
I am very bad at starting a conversation with people i don't konw well. Can anyone recommend me a video or an article that could help me?
Wouldn't going day by day count as chunking?
I’m going to be 28 this summer , I’m 27 now . Is it too late for me to change my life around ! Using improvement pills methods ?
Thank you. Wow. 👌🏽
Thank you so much, just found out the missing link
Can study be an addiction?
Any source of reserarch mentioned in video?
I stopped smoking cigarettes using a simple technique that I came up with by accident.
I forgot the day I had quit and when friends would ask me how long it had been since my last cigarette I would say "oh four months" when in fact it was way less than that. I noticed that I was starting to believe it too and that it made the whole thing easy. After maybe half a year I thought that I quitted for two years already.
One day I had a chat with a friend and we came to talk about my quitting, he asked me how long it been and I told him that it was a really long time, probably five years since I had quit.
But this day, we did the maths and the reality was that it just had been over two years. When to me it was almost like an other life. Ages really.
I was really proud of myself. It's been 5 or 7 years now (for real) I never smoked again and it had always been easy.
So if you have a hard time counting days, don't hesitate to give yourself some bonus 😉 it's a kind of cheating that actually helps
Cheers
Never pay attention to 'pop-science'. It's always 'truth by consensus'. Always.
The only problem I have is All or Nothing Mindset. How can I change it?
If you really wanna build a habit, just stop counting the days. It just gonna add more burden and stress.
Dude, thanks for this course… I just reached 30 days of daily push- and situps, thanks to your advice about a lower and an upper bar one must set. Almost never made use of the lower one though, but it motivated me, because I knew it was "allowed" to even only do one pushup. Thank you!
Awesome thanks for the courses
What I can highly recommend (from my own experience) is to take COLD SHOWERS
especially in the morning!!! (30 seconds is already enough!)
Trough this you gain not only a much higher being-awake feeling & better focus,
but also you increase your WILLPOWER (=discipline) enormously!!!
This helped me a lot on my way to set new, positive habits,
stay away from harmful behaviour,
& live a life full of happiness!!! =)
Bro you are so great I needed this man fr
This changed my life! I could never stay sober, if i managed a day it truly felt like an accomplishment. coming up to 6 months now. Not a drop.
I have never bought in to help groups and I have always laughed at people like Improvement pill, how wrong I was. I'm a different happier more focused person now, Thank you.
So does this apply to bad habits as well? If you stop for a month, will you reset automoticity
Love you buddy…. 🤘🤘
I got used to exercising after 3 weeks
i also dont believe in that 21 days thingy. i can do an activity i set for 21 days or longer strike but i unfortunately return to not doing it
Can you review on the book power of sub conscious mind
Hi Improvement pill. Could you please mention the resources you've used for this video?
👏👏👏 Great… so extremely great❤️❤️❤️
3:22 duolingo must be fuming
I'm gonna be the 10%
Hey Improvement pill I am writing down my Cue and Reward can you help me with that?
Cue:Being alone and Feeling Bored
Routine: Watching Porn or just Masturbating
Reward: A sense of Accomplishment of doing something exciting
Can I switch my reward to reading my favorite subject, in which I need to excel ? Answer as soon as possible Improvement pill
Waiting for your Reply.
Dont focus on perfect execution but consistent execution!
– Bo Sanchez
watching your videos became a habit
Flashbacks to Duolingo when I missed the streak
I created a video every day for 100 days, then following that I went camping and it was the most alien feeling not being able to create a video and it’s all I could think about, as to what I would make
These videos always give me motivation to improve myself, thankyou
Just found this tamed course a few days ago. Thank you for your time and resources you have spent to bring this to us! I have only started but I have learned a lot already!
I believe it should be all or nothing. I'm not going to pick up the crack pipe on Wednesday, and then put it down until Sunday. Once you decide to give it up… you give it up. But, whatever you stop doing. Whatever bad habits, you want to cease, you have to ultimately conclude you're doing it for yourself. The decision is your decision and you're making that decision for yourself. Because it needs to mean something to YOU!! Not because your spouse is bitching or nagging at you. Not because your mommy and daddy say they don't like it, or it's not right, or they don't want that for you. You have to think, live and do everything. Everything. For yourself!!
Automaticity is fun to say
What if Maxwell's idea was actually supposed to be a Placebo to boost people productivity. Hm?
So there is a pass in no but november
You say relapsing isn’t bad and your progress won’t go down the drain. But in your nofap video you said: “when i relapsed the progress disappeared overnight”
Where are you from man? So curious about that accent, sounds kinda Israeli to me
Wao. This info os pure gold