Hello. Why are your eyes on your hands? I, ah I… O.K. Well your eyes are on your hands. Aye aye. Nice to meet you. Nice to seeee you. Thank you Super Scott for coming to the interview
for Copy Machine Technician. Ha Ha
I don’t like the name “Super Scott”. Please call me “Isi”. How do you spell that? “I”, “S”, “I”. It says on your application you are white. Ha Ha Huh
I am. I failed initiation as a copy tech at a company
called “Zero”. What was your initiation? They gave me a full toner bottle. Told me to open all 8 holes and shake it all
out. That must have made a big toner cloud, ha
ha ha… There was a fan on and I was downwind. Great! You have copier experience. What did you do before that? Ha ha ha. I was an auto mechanic. Sounds good! Do you have any questions for me? I like to keep my parts organized. Do I get a table or a desk? You can use the hood of your truck or how
about the tailgate? You could stand there in the extreme weather,
ha ha ha ha. No, I mean inside. I need room to work on all the heavy irregularly
shaped parts. Oh, no table at this office, but each copier
has about a 1 foot by 2 foot copy-board glass. You could put those heavy irregularly shaped
parts on. That ought to rattle your nerves. Ho ha ha ha. What about a chair? It is each of our customers decision whether
or not to provide you with a chair and we can only make a profit if there is no room
around the machine. What do you need a chair for anyway? Well, at my last job “Zero”, the safety video
showed that if your hands are close to you in zone 1, you won’t become fatigued. The video even recommended driving with your
seat a little closer to the steering wheel so your body is straight and in alignment. At this company, we emphasize stretching your
arms to lengthen your body around the side of the machine, then squeezing behind the
machine to contract your body. As for sitting you can choose to kneel, squat
or sit Indian style. But I need my tools and the machine in zone
1 where I can get my hands in so I can see what I am doing. Do you like tile floors and concrete? Ha ha ha! On your application you checked “Carpet”. You need to check “All of the above” to be
hired here. Well, if I have to kneel on the concrete,
I might as well lay down. As an auto mechanic, we would get to lay down
and roll around while we worked and lay our head on a pillow. Do I get a pillow? I want a pillow. No pillows, Super Scott! Just lay your ass down amongst the paper clips,
staples, dirt and toner, ha ha ha ha. Do I get my own parking space close to the
machine in case I need to get parts out of my truck? Yes, we do have a spot for you…past the
customer parking garage, down the street past the employee parking garage and you can park
where the gutter water flows into the sewer where it says “Vendor Parking” and do not
use our towels to wipe the bird poop off your truck. O.K. I’ll take the job. Great! We just got a call for black marks in the
copies. The person that called hasn’t read the operator’s
manual, doesn’t know how to turn the machine off or on and by the time you get there there
won’t be any sample copies left of the problem. What are my options to have lunch? You can eat food you have prepared for yourself
5 to 7 hours earlier that won’t need a microwave or a refrigerator, unless you can fit those
in your truck, ha huh ha. You can eat cheap fast unhealthy food at the
many restaurants run by the 2 clowns Jack and Ronald. But really, you are the one who has to guess
where you are going to eat. My job is to keep changing your route and
put you in unfamiliar parts of the city and giving you high priority calls that will keep
you guessing about when, where and what you are going to eat. The only thing I have left to instruct you
on about your lunch is to never come here. If you have lunch with a co-worker, it means
one or both of you are not where you are supposed to be, so you must always eat alone and you
are never to say the word “lunch” to a customer. You must make the customer believe you are
always working! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. Please visit my website: Scott.Teee.TV